Sunday, 2 June 2013

So THIS is what freedom feels like

Exams are over and we engineers are free...for now. We've finished our exams for the year and we have a whole week to relax and have a good time before we do our PIAE. And I can tell you: it is bliss! All of a sudden I have all this free time on my hands. I've read two books, edited a short film I've written, currently writing another one, and I'm not freaking out about exams! I love it! This week I am forgetting that I am a student and remembering that I am a writer.

So say hello, ladies and gentlemen, to Miss Claire Miller: the writer!

I've decided next year is going to be so much different to this first year of university. I'm not going to drop out, and I'm determined to do myself justice. I'm going to revise over the summer and resit in September to try to boost my grade to a 2:1 (don't bother trying to tell me otherwise: I know that I haven't achieved that). Then second year will begin. I will no longer be in Halls; instead I will be living with my friends in a house where every day I will probably take a small detour just so I can be walking down Gotham Street (GOTHAM STREET!) to get to and from uni. I'm going to schedule my days so that I spend an hour or more going through what we did in the lectures - just to make sure that everything actually sunk into my waterlogged little noggin. I'm going to try (I repeat, try) to write something on here at least once a week, and I'm going to cook healthy food. I am not standing for the sort of garbage that I've had to endure this year!

And I know that, although it's going to be harder, next year is going to be amazing. I love my future housemates even more than I dislike my current ones. I'm going to aim to get a job that is a little more than just some freelance waitress (seriously, it's got to the point where I call my boss asking for work), and I'm going to feel a heck of a lot happier than I have this year. Oh, and I'm going to party!

Just three of the wonderful people in my life: Ollie, Dan and Connor.
I haven't gone out clubbing much during this year, which sucks since I love it so much. There's just something magical about losing myself in a little bubble where I can forget everything and just dance my worries away. Screw the alcohol; it's the music I get drunk off...or more specifically the beat - sometimes you get the odd DJ who has terrible taste in tunes. Anyway, after our final exam on Friday, Dan, Connor, Ollie and I went out on our own little bar crawl, ending the night hitting the O2 where the dancing starts. This was the first time we ever went out together since we usually go out with our housemates (or in my case the LUTheatre crew), and I cherish it so much. It was just...lovely. Really lovely. I belong to LUTheatre, but these guys I attend lectures with are my second family. I adore every single one of them. It's pretty impossible to put into words what they mean to me (that includes Sneha - she's basically just a feminine lad). I just hope they know that.

Golly, Claire! Why so soppy? Quick - be embarrassing!

Here's a picture of a sort of passed out Dan:

(If it makes it any better, he's passed out from exhaustion me suspects - he studies hard, poor little mite!)

Unfortunately for me, this picture will probably result in my death - Dan sometimes reads my blog. Sorry Dan!

But for now, I can forget about Engineering. I've cast people to star in my short film, I have a cameraman and editor, and so we will probably start filming next week or something like that. And don't worry, you guys will get to see the end result!

Sometimes we can get down about things. I didn't want to go to uni and do exams again, yet here I am. I was going to go to India to work for a magazine, yet here I am. But these things happen for a reason. I'm at uni and I've made some wonderful friends. I'm not going to India this summer, but what's stopping me from going next summer? In the meantime I'm going to figure things out about me: what are my new goals for this new situation? Where do I want to go and who do I want to be? I forgot about these questions when I first came to uni, and it's about time I got my arse into gear and figured them out. There's no point me constantly saying, "I didn't want to go to uni". I'm here now, so I need to get a grip.

Grow some balls, Claire. Live life looking forward instead of back. If you want to be like Batman, you're gonna have to stop acting like a child and be a man- er, woman.

Engineer by day, writer by night: I've got this.


P.S. Keep smiling!

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